


i wanna be your girlfriend but the demon inside said no

by SilentHero



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Angst, But chapter 2 will probably be happier... maybe, Dani deserved better, F/F, Have y'all listened to girl in red?, this is pretty sad, tw: drowning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26986879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentHero/pseuds/SilentHero
Summary: The story about the end of Dani’s relationship with Jamie as the Lady of the Lake takes over, but also the story of how Jamie gets her back, one way or another.Inspired by I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

She knew she didn’t have forever, even before a malevolent demon took up residence in her body. Now, her time left has been dramatically reduced. She was still so young, someone that should have their whole future stretched out in front of them with no end in sight. Yet, here we are, taking it one day at a time.

It's funny how Dani never felt alive until she stared slowly dying.

Getting physically away from the manor changed Dani’s entire demeanor, this was something she realized after escaping Bly. The darkness the radiated from the manor slowly seeping into her pores, poisoning her blood with its centuries of nightmares.

The sun seems to shine brighter, the air purer, and of course, Jamie was with her. Dani was genuinely happy, she hadn’t felt like this in a long time, before the witch invaded her body, before the haunting reflection of her fiancé, before running away to London. She realized, she may have never been happy in the true sense of the word before now.

The first few months of life after Bly were rough. Every shadow, every movement caught out of the corner of her eye, every rustle in the reflection behind her was thought to be her faceless counterpart. But every time Dani was wrong. The only proof that she wasn’t entirely herself was the single hazel eye staring back at her.

When night fell, sometimes nightmares crept in to haunt her dreams. Sometimes Dani would feel the cold, bony fingers around her throat locked in an iron grip, dragging her up an endless flight of stairs or the fear of being murdered by the two ghosts that made the children tie her up in the attic.

She couldn’t quite explain it, but she’d feel herself slipping away and the witch forcing herself to the front of her consciousness, putting herself in control.

Jamie always woke up during one of Dani’s nightmares and comfort her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear as the dregs of nightmares drained away. She really was the perfect girlfriend, Dani didn’t know what she did to deserve someone so kind, so loving. Dani would never have blamed her if she wanted to leave, after all, who wants to share a bed with someone that has spirits haunting her?

Dani would sob into Jamie’s arms until sleep claimed her again, then Jamie would slowly lean back until Dani was settled, half on top of her. For the rest of the night, Jamie would keep her arms around Dani as a way to ward off any more nightmares.

The sun would rise with a new day and sometimes Dani would talk about the nightmares, sometimes she’d instead refuse with a hallow look in her eyes.

Eventually though, these episodes faded as the trauma of Bly was dulled in her memories from time. The light in Dani’s eyes was quicker to return after few and far in between nightmares. For years, there was hardly any thought of Bly, there was only Dani and Jamie. Not to be cheesy, but it was true love in every sense of the word.

They opened a flower shop together so Jamie could have the two loves of her life- flowers and Dani. And when Jamie sets a moonflower on the counter before her, Dani only remembers the fond memory that night in Bly, where they kissed and Dani’s demons didn’t come back to haunt her.

_Tell me something nice, like flowers and blue skies._

It was at times like these, when the ghosts of their pasts didn’t show themselves, that Dani wished most to spend the rest of her life with the woman in front of her. But, as we all know, nothing good can last forever.

One day she sees _her._ That faceless, nameless woman of the water. The same one the nearly strangled her to death only a few years ago, now back as a reminder that she’ll kill her all the same. There was no escape, it was as Owen said, Bly is a gravity well and Dani got sucked in, even if she physically escaped, it caught her and sunk its teeth in deep.

At first it was only fleeting reflections, nothing she couldn’t handle, after all, she’d been down this road before. Sometimes the Lady of the Lake would catch her by surprise, appearing in the sudsy dish water or when she was brushing her teeth. Seeing her would break the spell of happiness Dani was under. Seeing her was almost like a reality check, a _don’t forget about me, I’m still coming for you_. But nothing the witch could do scared Dani anymore, she was already going to take over her body one day, what worse could she do?

Dani kept brushing off the appearances, afraid of shattering the bubble her and Jamie were living in. However, the reflections demanded to be seen after a few weeks. They had become more persistent and that’s when she finally tells Jamie. Of course, Jamie’s in denial of it all, too high on happiness to take it seriously. But no one could blame her, she had fallen in love.

————

Sometimes Dani would lose chunks of her memory. She’d stare off into space or into a watery reflection, staring into a face that couldn’t stare back. Every time it happened, Jamie would feel her stomach sink.

_It’s too soon, we haven’t had enough time together, I’ve only just found her. Don’t take her away now._

Dani was always able to snap herself out of these reveries on her own, blinking and shaking her head, chuckling to herself, . . . until one day she didn’t.

Jamie had gotten home from the flower shop a bit later than usual, only to find her wife standing at the kitchen sink staring down into the water.

“You alright there, Poppins?” Jamie asked, concern lacing her voice as she walked over. With no response, Jamie put her hand on Dani’s shoulder. The action startled Dani, causing her to spin around. At the sight of Jamie, Dani calmed a bit but still looked clearly shaken, mismatched eyes wide and blonde hair disheveled.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. It just that- well, I thought I saw something in the water.” Dani motioned back to the sink. She gave Jamie a quick peck on her lips before stepping out of Jamie’s reach, looking for a towel to dry her hands. “Oh boy, how long was I spacing out there?” She giggled, hiding her concern.

But Jamie wasn’t stupid, she knew what this all meant. Her Dani was slipping away right in front of her eyes, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. There was no way to protect Dani from demons that lived inside of her.

————

The moment Dani knew it was the end was when her hand was inches from Jamie’s neck, moments away from strangling her. A tear slips out of a blue eye as Dani yanks her arm back against her chest and grabs it with her another hand.

Dani invited this witch inside herself to save the lives of the children, it was her job as the au pair, now she had to save Jamie from the person that loved her the most in the world, this was her new job, no longer as the au pair but as Jamie’s wife.

This time, if the Lady of the Lake took over, Dani feared that it would be permanent, that she wouldn’t be able to wrestle back control of herself. If this happened, everything for the witch would be different. She wouldn’t be confined to the grounds of Bly Manor, doomed to wake, walk, sleep, and forget and forget and forget. When she takes over, there will be no lake to trudge out of, no bed to check, and certainly no Isabelle to forget. No, if Dani loses herself now, the witch willbe free to cause endless death.

So Dani left, taking the witch and promise of ruin with her. Of course it was difficult, leaving her lover asleep, never giving Jamie the chance to see her again, but Dani didn’t see any other option that didn’t risk Jamie’s safety more so than she really had. It would be easier this way. Every time Dani had second thoughts, the girl standing in lieu of her own reflection snapped her out of it.

She’d give anything to stay. To stay with Jamie and run the flower shop, to live out years with Jamie until their hair turned gray. But that’s not the hand she was dealt. So, she walks over to Jamie’s sleeping form, Dani firmly in control of her own mind, and bends down to place a feather light kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you for the company.” Dani whispers with a tight throat as she closes the door behind her.

————

The water runs a chill up her legs as Dani steps into the lake, her toes go numb within seconds. She bites her lip and turns her head to look back. She could leave. Forget this cold night and rainy lake, ditch this to crawl back into the warm bed where Jamie is sure to be, still asleep.

 _No_ , Dani thinks, _this is what has to be done,_ nodding to herself. She steps further into the dark water when the beast in the jungle lunges, grappling for control of Dani. Letting out a startled shriek, Dani clutches her head and falls to her knees, mud seeping into her clothes.

It was a battle for control. The Lady of the Lake pushing against Dani, the beast had finally shown itself, and demanded what it had been waiting for. Tears sprang from blue and streamed down her face as the rage built up inside Dani. Her legs seemed to act of their own accord as they stood up and pushed the rest of her body away from the lake. Dani screamed, fear gripping her heart.

 _No, no, no, please no._ She had not dragged herself back to this lake, away from her dream of a life, only to lose now. Her legs faltered and she landed face first in the mud. Dani clawed her way back into the water, fingers straining against the weight.

Her muscles twitched and shook as two beings fought to command them. It was painful, really. Almost like being torn apart from the inside by something invisible. Every movement made by Dani was a struggle as an opposing force pulled against her. She was off the shore now, far out enough where she couldn’t touch the lake floor. Dani’s breathing was labored, sweat and lake water plastering her hair to her face.

Using the last ounce of power she had, Dani pushed herself down into the depths of the lake. As she dove, her turned to catch a glimpse at the starry night sky. The surface of the water was hardly visible, too far out of reach for the witch to swim back up to in time, so Dani let go, her resolve crumbling.

A scream built up in her chest, she opened her mouth and yelled her heart out, lungs burning for more oxygen but only water greeted them. She felt the rage from the witch inside her, but it didn’t matter, they both were doomed to a watery grave. Dani chuckled, her awareness of her own body fading. She had won, the beast in the jungle had pounced, but it was too late.

Her last thoughts were of Jamie, her only regret was leaving her all alone but Jamie alone was better than Jamie dead. Dani felt peace settle around her like a blanket of protection from the witch’s ugly fury.

She got her wish in the end, she wanted to live out the rest of her life with Jamie, which she did. Dani just didn’t realize how short a life it would be. Maybe they’d meet again some day, some where.

_I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath._

The surface of the lake rippled with the last bubbles of Dani’s life.


	2. Chapter 2

————

There was a new spirit haunting Bly Manor now. Well, haunt seems too harsh a word. She was more of a lingering feeling- soft and loving, like a fleeting kiss. Though, she could not leave, sentenced to life in a lake.

The air of Bly had changed since Dani had first set foot here. Birds sang, the manor itself even looked inviting and warm nowadays, the darkness of its past cleansed, but Dani never set foot inside. No, too many conflicting memories there, echoes of long gone children running along the halls, muddy footprints always going in the same room, memories of a kitchen full of life, all ghosts of the past Dani couldn’t bring herself to visit.

It hurt at first, of course. Dani was still entirely aware of herself at the very beginning of her new life. Panic would always set in when she woke, still not used to finding herself swaying gently in the water above the murky lake floor. After panic washed away, Dani would climb out of the water and walk the expansive grounds.

Often she had found herself drifting to Jamie’s old greenhouse or to the dead remains of moonflowers in the middle of the forrest. Here, Dani would do her best to tend to the plants and delicate flowers, trying to keep alive what made had made her fall in love nearly a decade ago.

But time wears down all. It would take Dani longer and longer to figure out why she had come to the greenhouse, she’d stare blankly at the plants that had begun to wither away, the life seeping out of them.

Standing outside the greenhouse, Dani wondered again what had brought her here, it had seemed to have turned into her daily routine. But as she turned to leave, a spark of her old self reignited in her chest.

Dani gasped and fell back. Panting and confused, she craned her neck, looking back at the abandoned structure.

_Jamie._

Tears welled in her eyes, how had she forgotten? She hadn’t been here that long, certainly? She ran shaky fingers through her hair, still damp from her watery slumber.

“Okay, focus,” she croaked out, her voice rough from disuse. How long be it been since she last talked to someone? “You’re Dani Clayton. You were the au pair. You watched over Miles and. . . Flora, yes how could I forget? Flora the little girl, she was going to drown-”

 _Inhale, exhale._ “I’m Dani Clayton, I was the au pair, I . . .” She looked at the sunlight bouncing off of the wall of glass before her, “I fell in love.”

Standing on weak knees, she shuffled toward the greenhouse. “Oh, Jamie, I’m- I’m sorry. This is so- how could I forget someone like you?” Fear grew heavy in her stomach and clenched a fist around her throat.

“I can’t forget,” she rested her head on the glass, “ _I can’t please._ Don’t let me forget you.” Dani stood, silently sobbing against the glass for hours, it seemed. Something inside the au pair’s heart broke more so than it already had.

That day, the gentle spirit made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t fade like the old Lady of the Lake. “I’d rather forget everything else, take it all any from me if you must, but leave Jamie. She’s all I need, the rest, well, the rest is just-“

Her memories were slipping away, Dani could feel it. Like a word on the tip of your tongue, she could feel the wisps of the memories as they were lost to time. But Dani was relentless, everyday she would wake and fight to remember, to put a meaning to this life, to put meaning to why she had become what she had. She refused to become a nameless, faceless monster.

She’d blink her eyes open and push herself to the surface of the water, “I’m Dani Clayton.”

She’d walk to the desolate manor, “I was the au pair to the two children, Miles and Flora,” she’d walk past the kitchen, “Owen was the cook,” then by the broom closet, “Hannah was the housekeeper.”

Next, Dani would venture back out into the daylight and make a beeline for the rose garden. “Jamie was the gardener.” A smile would ghost her lips, “And I loved her, still do. Nothing would ever change that.” She’d stay in the gardens as long as she could, but eventually exhaustion would drag her back into the icy waters.

Feet caked with dirt, she’d walk into that awful lake, “And now, I’m back to being the Lady of the Lake.”

Dani maintained this for countless days, repeated it like a mantra. Some days were better than others. She usually caught herself when she slipped up, but nothing stands the test of time indefinitely.

_Dani, Miles, Flora, Owen, Hannah, Jamie. Dani, Miles, Flora, Owen, Hannah, Jamie. Dani, Flora, Owen, Hannah, Jamie. Dani, Owen, Jamie. Dani. . ._

She blinked awake and pushed to the surface. She crawled out and walked to the doors of the manor, but didn’t open them. Instead, she turned and left. She walked to the garden, but didn’t stop, no hesitation in her pace, not even a sideways glance at the wooden skeletons of former flowers or pay any mind to the brittle petals crunching beneath her feet. She walked back into the lake.

After a while, Dani lost track of everything at Bly. No time, no memories. Only a hallow shell of whoever she once was. She woke, she walked, but not with purpose, she slept, but didn’t dream, she forgot. She wandered aimlessly, there was no other ghosts at Bly to keep her company, to ground her. No line to keep her kite from flying off into the clouds.

Dani didn’t understand or think about much these days, but she didn’t seem to mind. Everything became one big blur, sometimes Dani would wander at night. She had no idea of the day, she woke whenever, there was no one waiting for her.

————

One day everything changes for the new Lady of the Lake, she wakes, she walks, . . . she _remembers._ Memories flood the spirit of the au pair’s senses. Her life before the lake. Dani barely makes it out of the water before she falls to her knees.

It was like someone breathed life back into her. “What. . . the hell?” Dani shook her head, as if trying to make sense of what was happening.

Scenes of her life played out in her mind’s eye, overloading her senses. “Oh god, oh god, how- who reminded me?” Dani looked up, but of course no one was there, no one had been in a very long time.

Dani sat there, gears turning in her newly reactivated consciousness. She was back, really back. She felt almost whole again, like she was alive. She pushed herself to her feet. There was only one person that could’ve done this.

She tore across the misty lawn separating her from the looming manor. The morning sun hadn’t begun to peak over the horizon, the birds’ song yet to sound.

Dani nearly ripped the old doors off of the hinges and ran inside, swallowed up whole by the house, leaving muddy tracks behind her. She stopped before the grand staircases ahead of her and looked around, catching her breath. Dani swore she could feel her heart beating in her chest and warm blood pumping through her veins, but that couldn’t be true.

She ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Her old room was empty now, she remembered clearing it out when she moved back to America with Jamie. A smile tugged at Dani’s face, it was the first time she’d felt genuinely happy in a long time. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt anything at all.

Dani ran over to the bathroom and pushed the door open. Sure, it was a little more dusty than she remembered, but that didn’t matter- all she needed was the bathtub. She grabbed one of the handles and turned. The pipes in the walls groaned and rattled, but no water came out.

“Damn it!” Dani kicked the side of the tub, only to feel pain shoot up her leg. “Of course nothing works when I fucking need it to.” She huffed, thinking up of a new plan.

“Maybe a mirror,” she muttered to no one in particular. She spun around and got a glance of the small mirror above the sink. It was caked with grime and cracked into a million pieces, but that wasn’t what caused Dani to gasp. She reached her hand out toward her broken and hazy reflection. Wiping away the muck, it was exactly as she thought, she hadn’t changed. Dani looked the same as she did the day she walked into the lake, not a day older. A hopeful part of her wondered if maybe that meant she hadn’t been here long? But a more reasonable part of her knew that couldn’t be true.

She chuckled at herself, remembering when she used to throw blankets and towels over the mirrors in her room. Looking back up, she reexamined the cracks in her reflection, “This won’t work, though. I need a clear picture.”

Dani walked back downstairs. It was growing brighter outside as the sun slowly rose over the hills. “Shit, I need something clear, I need. . . the greenhouse.”

For the second time that morning, Dani ran across the grounds of Bly. Screeching to a halt in front of the old building, her eyes searched for a glass pane still intact. It seemed like hours of looking and walking in circles around the structure, but Dani found what she needed. There, stared back her reflection, clear as day. A single unbroken window remained, and it was perfect.

Slowly, Dani walked up to the glass and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and did her best to think of Jamie. It had to be her. She brought her back to life, or whatever state she was in. To be entirely honest, Dani didn’t quite know what happened to her or why she suddenly remembers her old self, but that didn’t matter at the moment.

She put her hand on the shiny surface, “Jamie, I’m coming to find you.” Dani brows knitted together and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. “Oh, please work.” She pushed her hand on the glass, “And please have a reflective surface nearby.” Dani gigged with glee as her hand disappeared through her reflection in the window, followed by the rest of her.

_I will follow you home, even though my lips are blue and I’m cold._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyyy so still kinda not a happy ending? But at least it's bittersweet... right?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, as always! 
> 
> Comment any prompts or yell at me on Tumblr, if you want. @onehaughtluthor


End file.
